


Swivel Chair Race

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [35]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7492566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laf: no offense</p><p>laf: but mcdonalds egg mcmuffins are sO good??</p><p>johnn: I </p><p>johnn: I want a divorce</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swivel Chair Race

**laf** : no offense  
  
**laf** : but mcdonalds egg mcmuffins are sO good??  
  
**johnn** : I  
  
**johnn** : I want a divorce  
  
**laf** : EXCUSE ME  
  
**johnn** : THEYRE GROSS  
  
**johnn** : LIKE E W  
  
**little lion** : BLOCKED  
  
**little lion** : REPORTED  
  
**little lion** : BANNED  
  
**laf** : THEYRE SO GOOD THO  
  
**little lion** : I KNOW THAT WAS @ JOHN  
  
**johnn** : HOW DARE YOU  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I have never had one  
  
**laf** : CRIES  
  
**little lion** : YOU'RE MISSING OUT  
  
**johnn** : NO YOU'RE NOT YOU'RE PART OF THE CHOSEN FEW THAT DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER  
  
**more like HUNKules** : dear god  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : do you think our new house should have carpeting  
  
**laf** : probably  
  
**laf** : small children don't deserve the unforgiving surface that is hardwood flooring  
  
**little lion** : true  
  
**little lion** : I don't deserve the unforgiving surface that is hardwood flooring  
  
**laf** : you're basically a small child  
  
**little lion** : yeah,,,,,,that's,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,true,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : tfw your fam is going on a fam beach trip this year in like two weeks and they just didn't tell you until now???  
  
**laf** : is it just your parents and hugh now or are you going  
  
**more like HUNKules** : idk I was thinking that we could all go  
  
**more like HUNKules** : like all of us  
  
**johnn** : are we invited  
  
**more like HUNKules** : my mom said that you all should like come along but like idk if you'd want to  
  
**little lion** : I want to bc I love you but like,,,,,,,,,,  
  
**more like HUNKules** : it's fine I get it  
  
**laf** : alex we'll be with you the whole time  
  
**laf** : like it's fine if you don't want to go but like it's not like you'll be alone there like we'll always be there  
  
**little lion** : do you prOMISE  
  
**little lion** : likE YOU GOTTA SWEAR TO ME  
  
**laf** : yES  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I swear  
  
**johnn** : saME  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : I'll go  
  
**little lion** : but I need to go shopping for bathing suits bc I have none oops???  
  
**laf** : I haven't gone swimming in forever so same  
  
**johnn** : same  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : you should be proud of me hercules  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ???  
  
**laf** : I just won in the office swivel chair race  
  
**little lion** : BC THEY FUCKIGN CHEATED  
  
**laf** : I DID N O  T  
  
**little lion** : LIKE I CAN SEE HOW I DIDNT WIN  
  
**little lion** : BUT JEFFERSON LIKE MODIFIED HIS SO ITS LIKE AERODYNAMIC  
  
**little lion** : AND SOMEHOW LAFAYETTE STILL WON  
  
**laf** : I EARNED THIS VICTORY  
  
**little lion** : YOU DIDNT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : you guys had a swivel chair race  
  
**more like HUNKules** : in your office building  
  
**more like HUNKules** : during office hours  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and gwash just,,,,didn't care??  
  
**laf** : lmao he came in seventh he's so bitter  
  
**little lion** : I would be too if I knew that the person I consider my child fuckign cheated at the event I got seventh place in  
  
**laf** : I DIDNT CHEAT  
  
**johnn** : you totally cheated  
  
**laf** : JO H N  
  
**johnn** : THERE'S NO FUCKIGN WAY  
  
**johnn** : LIKE I HATE JEFFERSON BUT HE'S GOT A FUCKING TOOL SET IN HIS DESK THATS ONLY USED TO MODIFY HIS FUCKING CHAIR  
  
**little lion** : how do you know what's in his desk  
  
**johnn** : I searched it when I stole the door  
  
**johnn** : he also has naked polaroids in there of himself and they're all autographed  
  
**little lion** : okay wHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT TELL ME THIS BEFROE  
  
**johnn** : I DIDN'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT  
  
**laf** : okay so I look like him  
  
**laf** : do I /look like/ him  
  
**johnn** : okay first of all  
  
**johnn** : holy fucking shit  
  
**johnn** : second of all no  
  
**laf** : is that like a good no or like a bad no  
  
**johnn** : I'm not sure which is which  
  
**laf** : you know how to answer  
  
**johnn** : well I mean using prior knowledge of dicks and things about dicks  
  
**johnn** : I'd say yours is better??  
  
**johnn** : I'm not going to express my comments about jefferson at this time  
  
**laf** : do you want to fuck Jefferson  
  
**johnn** : hoW LOW DO YOU THINK MY STANDARDS HAVE GOTTEN  
  
**laf** : JUST ASKING  
  
**johnn** : NO  
  
**little lion** : idk don't you think that's kind of weird tho  
  
**laf** : what  
  
**little lion** : like we think you're so pretty and beautiful bc you are  
  
**little lion** : but jefferson looks exactly like you  
  
**little lion** : and I would rather be put through a steamroller than kiss him for one second  
  
**laf** : are you okay  
  
**little lion** : no  
  
**laf** : okay  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : went into alex's office and he's not there???  
  
**laf** : we're at the doctor's for alex's arm  
  
**johnn** : I thought he had to have the cast on for six weeks??  
  
**laf** :  as far as I know he does but the doctor said he might get it off a week early  
  
**more like HUNKules** : is that before or after the 29th  
  
**laf** : the six week mark would be the 31 so no  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and if he gets it off early  
  
**laf** : the 24  
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay  
  
**laf** : update: the doctor said he's getting the cast off on the 26  
  
**little lion** : :^(((  
  
**johnn** : shouldn't you be happy abt getting your cast off??  
  
**little lion** : no bc now I don't have an excuse to not go in the ocean  
  
**johnn** : ????  
  
**johnn** : "I don't want to go in the ocean"  
  
**laf** : "I have a very understandable fear of the ocean and large bodies of water and would not like to immerse myself in them"  
  
**more like HUNKules** : "I don't like the ocean therefoRE"  
  
**little lion** : okay true but like,,,,,  
  
**laf** : babe we will be there the!!! whole!!! time!!!  
  
**little lion** : I KNOW BUT ITS GONNA STILL BE THE BLUE GREEN ABYSS OF HELL STARING AT ME LIKE I WONT BE ABLE TO ESCAPE  
  
**laf** : YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO  
  
**laf** : NOBODY IS GOING TO FORCE YOU TO GO  
  
**little lion** : BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE HERE EITHER  
  
**laf** : ILL STAY HOME WITH YOU  
  
**little lion** : I'm not gonna ruin your beach trip bc I can't get over my stupid fear of the fuckign ocean  
  
**laf** : !!!!it's not stupid!!!!  
  
**johnn** : are you kidding?? it's crazy that you're able to even think about the ocean let alone ever considering going near it like honey  
  
**more like HUNKules** : alex I'll stay home with you like  
  
**more like HUNKules** : we're not going to force you into situations that you don't want to be in you have to trust us  
  
**laf** : alex is trying not to cry rn  
  
**johnn** : where are you  
  
**laf** : parked in the parking lot  
  
**johnn** : I  
  
**little lion** : fuck I love you guys so much  
  
**laf** : we love you too  
  
**more like HUNKules** : so much  
  
**johnn** : until the end of time  
  
**little lion** : fuck oh my god  
  
**laf** : do you wanna make out before we go back to work  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**johnn** : that took a turn  
  
**little lion** : better than me sobbing in the car  
  
**little lion** : a lot better  
  
**laf** : seconded  
  
**johnn** : oh my god  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : lafayette you gotta fess up  
  
**laf** : what  
  
**johnn** : jefferson is lying on his desk staring up at the ceiling while james and burr just watch him  
  
**johnn** : he's got a screwdriver in his hands and he's holding onto it so tight that it looks like he's about to snap it in half  
  
**laf** : honey  
  
**laf** : I spent summers hiking, running, and Thinking about alexander in a Certain Way and doing Things about it  
  
**little lion** : holy shit  
  
**laf** : I have the leg power and the stamina to wiN  
  
**little lion** : can we go back to the Things you did  
  
**laf** : it was a long summer alexander  
  
**little lion** : oh I agree but like we slept in the same bed????  
  
**johnn** : you neVER talk about that summer like you have NEVER ONCE talked about it  
  
**laf** : THIS IS WHY  
  
**laf** : and yeS THAT'S WHY I TOOK SO MANY SHOWERS  
  
**laf** : LIKE AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT OF THEM  
  
**little lion** : I never cared tho bc you were always so soft and smelled so nice  
  
**little lion** : you still are soft and smell v nice tho but like now I get to have sex with you so it's just better  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**johnn** : FUCKINKFNG  
  
**johnn** : NO  
  
**johnn** : I WANT A WHOLE NOVEL FROM THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER TO THE FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN FIVE YEARS SINCE THEN AND NEVER ONCE HAVE EITHER OF YOU MENTIONED IT  
  
**johnn** : I WANT MY TELL ALL BOOK  
  
**more like HUNKules** : HUNTY SAME LITERALLY  
  
**laf** : IT WAS LITERALLY A LOT OF OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES, ANGST, SEXUAL TENSION, THE TREE THING, GEORGE ASKING ME WHETHER OR NOT I WAS EVER GOING TO TELL ALEX I LOVED HIM OR NOT AT THREE IN THE MORNING ONE TIME LIKE THAT WAS NORMAL, AND ME WATCHING THE LIGHT SHINE ON ALEX'S FACE THROUGH THE WINDOW WHEN THE SUN CAME UP  
  
**little lion** : NOW I WANT MY TELL ALL BOOK ABT THAT SUMMER YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABT THE CONVO BETWEEN YOU AND GWASH  
  
**little lion** : HOW THE FUCK DID HE NOT NOTICE WE WERE DATING FOR THREE YEARS  
  
**laf** : IDEK  
  
**laf** : WHAT WAS THAT SUMMER LIKE TO YOU ALEX  
  
**little lion** : A LOT OF SWEATING, ANGST, SEXUAL TENSION, ME WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BC I WAS SO !!! AT THE FACT THAT YOU WERE LYING NEXT TO ME SO ID LOCK MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM TO H A N D L E  I T, THE TREE THING, ONLY EVER WANTING TO KISS YOU BUT NOT BEING ABLE TO, MARTHA AND ME PLAYING CARDS AT ONE IN THE MORNING, THAT ONE TIME WHEN I WOKE UP AND YOUR TEETH WERE ON MY NECK AND I RAN, AND LIKE IDK CRYING IN GENERAL  
  
**laf** : holy sHIT WE WERE SUCH A MESS  
  
**little lion** : LITERALLY  
  
**johnn** : I WASN'T EVEN THERE AND I WAS A MESS OVER IT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : IM S O GLAD WE'RE OVER THAT PART OF OUR LIVES  
  
**johnn** : TRUE  
  
**laf** : SAME  
  
**little lion** : ABSOLUTELY

**Author's Note:**

> !!!day seven!!! the end!!!
> 
> thank you sm for going on the ~~journey~~


End file.
